Board Thread:Fun and Games Forum/@comment-26355186-20150721115811/@comment-24306135-20150810175533

NegativeZero.0 wrote: (Sauron: My post was not not meant to goad, or antagonize, but to state our general openion on your re-arrival. You seem to be on the right path so far, but to be clear, this is your last chance. Prove to us that you have changed, and wont relapse into your old ways, and we shall welcome you with open arms, and eventually build trust and credibility with you. But if you fall into the old pattern again: you're out. I, myself trust that you have changed, now you must prove it.

best of luck

-Zero) (Ours? I think you mean yours. I'll prove my opinion with this short play,which contains much hyberbole, a lot of exaggeration, and is probably only something I find funny.)

HOW EVERYONE ACTED WHEN SAURON CAME BACK: A SHORT, VERY FICTIONAL PLAY, BASED ON HIS VIEW OF THE FIRST POSTS MADE IN RESPONSE TO HIS RETURN.

'''Sauron: Um... Hi. I'm back. I was really busy. Sorry for taking so long! (looks at ground sheepishly) '''

'''Assembled players: (smiling, waving, from nearby large table) Hey, welcome back! How've you been?'''

'''ZIppo: (Shakes hands with Sauron) HEY! IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU! (bro-hug)'''

'''Das: (races forward) OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. (latches onto Sauron.)'''

Audience: (laughter)

Sauron: (obviously uncomfortable, embarrassed by attention.)

'''Zero: "SPEAK NOT, SATAN!" (turns away from Sauron with hand out in a gesture of denial) "WE DO NOT BELIEVE YOU!" (Turns to suddenly appearing crowd, puts on clerical robe, gets on top of soapbox, and assumes mocking tone with southern accent.) "Weeeeeel. Lookie here, brothers" (Crowd boos Sauron.) "And so here he is. Our lost brethern." (glares at Sauron) "He says that he comes in the hope we may show him the TRUE PATH!" (distant "Amens"). "But that is not the truth." (congregation gasps.) "NO!" (Zero continues, accent grows incoherent and thick.) "HE IS HEAH TO DEE-CEEVE AHND TUH LIE AND TO CU-RUHPT THE HEAHTS OF MAN!" (crowd pulls out Bibles, torches, pitchforks etc.) "AHND SO WEAH CAST YOU OUT, SATAN!" (piledrives Sauron with giant Bible, ties Sauron to nearby table.) "THE POW-AH OF CHRAIST COMPELS YOU!" (Hits with Bible.) "THE POW-AH OF CHRAIST COMPELS YOU!" (Hits with Bible)'''

[Crowd closes in, Sauron screams, curtains close.]

(So please excuse me if I take your professions of trust with a grain of salt the size of the moon, given your earlier language on the subject. But that isn't what's important right now.)

The coffin opened, then tipped as the cart holding it rolled from the suddenly imbalaced weight. The inert body of Sauron, wrapped in some kind of mesh, tumbled out.